Ahhh, the tiny life: such a sweet, cheap and stress-free way to live, filled with cozy coffee sips, warm fuzzies and lavender-infused scream pillows. Okay, the third doesn’t exist … yet, and I stress yet. But first I should probably tell you about the odd twist this story took.
Originally, this piece was going to be an in-depth look into the Tiny House Movement, with a brief analysis of the results from our “Tiny Homeowner” survey. Oh, but things done did change, yes they did. I actually started to think I might possibly consider going tiny.
After weeks of research, several episodes of Tiny House Nation and a thorough analysis of the stats and facts, I started to fall in love. There was only one problem, actually 5 big ones, and they needed solving before this tiny train leaves the station. Thankfully, I think my brain may have saved the day with (like the title says) five solutions so dumb they just might work.
Tiny Issue #1: Research
Before the foundation is poured or the trailer is hitched, there is an absurd amount of research that needs to be done. Making sure you have all the specifics of your situation could be the difference between “awesome” and “I would no longer like to do this."
Q: Where did you find the most helpful “Tiny” information?
Our survey showed that 47% found the most helpful information from Pinterest and Tiny Home TV shows. I will say it definitely helped me check a lot of boxes. It also filled my tiny sails with giant gusts of inspirado.
Q: Before going “Tiny”, what do you wish you would have considered more?
RED TAPE! The heaps and heaps of boring info like zoning, codes and permits to make your tiny house legit. It’s a bit overwhelming combing through all the fine print to make sure you’re compliant with all the rules and regulations, sickening! Here is issue número uno, and boy is it a doozy.
Tiny Solution #1: A Fill-In-The-Blank Tiny Research Book
This would be an incredibly helpful and fun fill-in-the-blank research book. It would come with checklists, colorful achievement stickers and pictures of happy people in tiny homes. All to make sure you have everything you need to karate-chop the red tape and move forward like you wrote the doggone rulebook.
Tiny Issue #2: Downsizing
Q: What do you miss the most?
Spoiler alert: Tiny homes are in fact tiny, so it’s no surprise that 45% said “extra storage” was what they missed most. With that in mind, I can imagine the whole keep-or-toss “Does this bring me joy?” process to get rid of all yo’ junk would be difficult.
Q: When downsizing what do you wish you would have saved more of?
When asked what they wish they had saved more of, 31% said “heirlooms.” As a person who has a decent amount of heirlooms, I knew this was the next issue that needed a solution. It seems like it’d be a sin or grounds for haunting if I threw out Nana’s china or Pop-pop’s bronzed baby shoes.
Tiny Solution #2: An Heirloom Scrapbook
Look, it’s not like I would actually eat with the tarnished cutlery my great-greats brought from the old country, nor do I think my next of kin would. So, to ditch, honor and cherish these historical hand-me-downs, a space-saving scrapbook is the perfect solution. Snap a couple pics. Write a short story. Grab a glue stick. Done and done.
Tiny Issue #3: Fighting
Don’t get me wrong, my wife and I are not habitual fighters, but occasionally we have heated disagreements. With such a limited amount of space, we wouldn't have the luxury of cooling off or reflecting in another room as an option. This makes having a reliable solution to squash the beef extremely essential.
Tiny Solution #3: Scream Pillow and Feelings Book
This simple 2-step system involves a lavender-infused scream pillow and a “how to share your tiny feelings in an effective manner” book. Together, they will alleviate the tension and remind all parties that with a little communication, this too shall pass.
Tiny Issue #4: Hobbies
When you’re finally ready to downsize, trying to fit your big-living way of life into a tiny home may be challenging.
Q: What aspect of your life has been impacted the most?
When asked what aspect of their life had been impacted the most, 37% said hobbies. Since one of my favorite hobbies is cooking, I realized this places a large amount of sand in my proverbial diaper. This could be the trickiest issue of them all.
Tiny Solution #4: The “Hobbies I Don’t Have Room For” Board Game
Choose a specific hobby or collect them all. This play pretend game puts your imagination to work within the walls of your tiny home. Simply roll the dice, pick a card, and start your adventure/hobby simulation. Not only does it keep you comfortably confined, it’s also safe and family-friendly. Check back in the near, but probably distant, future for the “hobbies I don’t have room for” app and VR experience!
Tiny Issue #5: Farting (Let’s Get Real)
In Lauren Modery’s “Dear People Who Live in Fancy Tiny Houses” article, she brought up an excellent issue: how to deal with “Mexican food farts.” It’s a topic that I was too ashamed to include in the survey. Now that it’s out there, I think this could be one of the most critical solutions. This is especially important for “my friend” who is an avid eater of “interesting” foods.
Tiny Solution #5: The Fart Seat
Once again, the limited amount of space made finding an answer to this problem a real stinker. (Pun intended). After giving it a lot of thought, I realized I had been sitting on a possible solution the whole time. It’s so simple! Just connect an exhaust fan to a chair with a cushion that has breathable fabric and you got yourself a fart seat. (Patent not pending)
However, until someone that’s not me invents this, I think your best bet will be stocking up on Gas-X and stuffing dryer sheets into an old pillow to use as a fart dampener.
And there you have it, five beautifully half-baked dumb-dumb ideas that have the potential to solve all of the world’s tiny problems. I sincerely hope one day someone will be bold enough to polish these gems and help me be the tiny liver I was maybe born to be.