8 Expensive Things My Dog Ate

Ryan Hanley headshot photo. Written by Ryan Hanley
Ryan Hanley headshot photo.
Written by Ryan Hanley

Ryan Hanley is a public speaker, podcaster and author of the Amazon best-seller, “Content Warfare.” Ryan has over 15 years of insurance expertise.

Updated
Stupid things my dog ate.

Dogs are weird. You never know what they'll get into next. Aside from the traditional homework consumption, man's best friend has been known to gobble up some pricey merchandise. These are a few high-ticket items owners have sacrificed for the love of a dog.


Zeppelin

Breed: English Sheep Dog - Pit Bull

Worst Crime: Consumed entire ball of black twine, plus a stick

Bill: $1,000 in veterinary expenses

Zeppie has a long history of eating dog toys, beds, walls, and furniture. But the real kicker was a ball of black twine wrapped around a stick, which she consumed entirely. It got so tangled in her intestines that the vet had to do emergency surgery to remove it. She made a full recovery, and went on to swallow many more toys.

Einstein

Breed: Wolf Hybrid

Worst Crime: Ate the handle of a fully loaded .38 Colt pistol, and two bullets

Bill: Unknown

This smart puppy isn’t afraid to make himself understood. When displeased, he has been known to eat down comforters, an Ikea futon, and a number of leashes. His most mysterious exploit, however, was consuming two bullets and the wood handle of a loaded pistol, without a single injury.

Tank

Breed: Staffordshire Terrier

Worst Crime: Ate a brand new sofa and recliner

Bill: Over $10,000 in one year

On top of a steady diet of toilet paper and baseboards, Tank loves to gnaw the furniture down to bits, even the brand new sofa and Laz-E-Boy recliner. In his first year of life, he has eaten mattresses, blankets, clothes, shoes, socks, and a wooden stair rail. Many years of happy destruction lie ahead for him and his loving family.

Pepper

Breed: Rottweiler

Worst Crime: Consumed two air conditioner cords

Bill: Over $650

Pepper is a very tall girl, which means she can reach just about anything you leave on the counter or the table. She loves paper towels, cat litter, table cloths, socks, and area rugs. She once tried to eat a brick, but was stopped just in time. She also loves cords of all shapes and sizes, including not one, but two air conditioner power cords, which led to two air conditioner replacement purchases.

Zoe

Breed: Beagle

Worst Crime: Ate a friend’s new smart phone

Bill: $350 and one friendship

Zoe is bright enough to eat the dog training books first. She also likes Bibles, TV remotes, chairs, and table legs. In a particularly spectacular feat of speed, she once consumed a friend’s new phone, as soon as her back was turned.

Scarlett

Breed: Pit Bull

Worst Crime: Ate an entire kitchen wall

Bill: Over $1000

After eating a brand new bed and a $300 comforter, Scarlett had a hard time topping her previous exploits. She made do with paper towels and XBox controllers for a while, then moved on to brand new cell phones (two of them!). After that, she graduated to entire walls. Thankfully, her owner knew someone who could hang sheetrock.

Patches

Breed: Pit Bull

Worst Crime: Ate all her owner’s textbooks

Bill: $800

Patches is a very lucky puppy. She was adopted as a shelter pooch who liked to jump and chew. Within her first week at her new home, she ate both rat poison and ibuprofen from the kitchen. The vet thinks with the right dosage of vitamin K, she should pull through. Since then, she has also eaten some beautiful shoes, and all of her owner’s school books, which she somehow managed to pass naturally.

Destroyer

Breed: Great Dane

Worst Crime: Chewed up a day-old big screen TV

Bill: $1,200

Once upon a time, a man wanted a Great Dane puppy, so his wife bought it for him. The puppy grew into a healthy adult. Then the man wanted a 62 inch TV, so his wife bought it for him. They went out for a nice dinner with the family, leaving Destroyer at home. When they returned, they found Destroyer had placed himself in the corner for time-out. They also found the new TV ripped to wires and shreds of plastic. The end.

Prepare for Furry Destruction

Make sure your wallet is prepared to handle the surprises that your dog might throw your way (or throw up on your carpet). You can mitigate the vet bills with the right pet insurance policy. You can also protect yourself from the cost of replacing your friend's new laptop or cell phone, by keeping a renters or homeowners policy up to date. That way you don't have to be too upset when your best friend eats another sofa.

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